So here goes the first rant of the twist of drops. My first story will entail a self inflicted torture that till this day left me shimmering with fear as well as a small rope burn. So I in a big hurry to piss out all the fine poisons provided within "city water". I rush to the urinal to fight with the draw string knot that would have saved the Titanic. Note since I am Irish I have no ass to hold up these shorts so I have the string so tight the sweet aroma of a bar fart sinks through the leg holes instead of flotting to the waiste like nature has intended.
Any way back on track I finally untangle this web of fiber. I rip the draw string as if I'm starting that lawnmower for the first time of the year. As my arm extend in a full vertical position I gasp in a sharp pain as the loop wraps around one of the fellas and snags him up like it was the catch of the day for Red Lobster. Now most of us have experienced the sting of a few rounds of ball tag, hell even a sweet tap during a ass slapping moment but damn if I didnt scream as if I was a 3 year old lost at the Pontiac Silverdome during a Monster Truck Rodeo.
To think what are the chance I believe the odds are far worse then some "carny" side game that cost you $40 dollars for a $1 stuffed animal that is full of foam beads. As always I can rope snag a testicle but I can't win a fricken lottery. On that I am Out
The Eight Six
2 comments:
1st to comment! Woot! Hey remember don't go giving away the farm on this blog 86. We still have to turn these rants into the golden goose!
- Skull Leadr
Aaah, nothing worse than the curse of the Irish "no ass".. I know it well.
-Kristin
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